Obligation/expectation: a poorly constructed, but brilliantly asserted view of God
One of the earliest problems I ever had with a Christian worldview was the problem of evil in the world. Essentially, “If there is a God, and [he] is good, and if [he] created the world, then how can evil exist in it?” Along the way, I picked up bits and pieces of materials to patch that problem, including the acceptance of not knowing all there is to it, and including a realization that my question isn’t entirely a good question.
But interestingly, the said struggle of the past has helped me in my shaping of this proposed description of the character of God (I think there’s a word for that):
I believe that God has no expectations of [his] people. (That was my thesis). Now, this is hard to capture at first, since we’re used to, for example, a father giving orders and then expecting his son to carry them out, so let me talk more. This idea came to me as I considered my own aversion to expectations that are placed on me. If I’m expected to maintain social morays, it attracts me to break them. If I’m expected to maintain relationships, it drains my soul (um, sorry friends and family).
Obligation is a stronger word, and even more soul draining. Sometimes others will place obligations onto me, and it threatens my health. I doubt anyone reading my blog has troubled me with this, though. So don’t feel bad.
In past years, I’ve felt ashamed and guilty that I’ve had this… trait. Actually, I had misidentified it as a “rebellious spirit” (see “Christian lingo” on C. Lee’s virb and facebook). So, I’d put a little salt on the wound and repent.
I’m not here to make an argument about the useful side of obligation/expectation (like motivation), although I’ll acknowledge it by including this paragraph. Although as a disclaimer, and perhaps even invalidating the purpose of this paragraph, I’ll remind you that the end doesn’t justify the means.
So one day, as I spent some time communicating with God, I said that I was sure that expectation placed on me from [him] would push me away in terms of relationship. But then I realized I could shed the notion that [he] placed expectations upon me.
Let me tell you what that would imply. First of all, if this were true, that God didn’t place expectations on his people, it would mean that God has become, in light of this, incredibly more appreciative towards everything I do for [him]. You see, upon my service, I wouldn’t be meeting the bar he has placed above me. Since there is no bar, my service would be going above and beyond what [he] expected, and it would make [him] happier. There’s a term for this, but I’ll only bring it up at the end, because of it being cliché.
How did the problem of evil help me with this? Well, the best response to the problem of evil pivots around God giving humans the right to do and to think whatever seems best to them, free from the hold or manipulation of one who could control those actions and thoughts. Why? Why would God grant to humans this trait? So that humans could respond to God’s goodwill towards them (corporately and individually, by the way), with a million different manifestations of love, birthed through creativity and freedom.
Andy Stanley has this parenting advice that says something like, “‘Because I said so,’ and ‘Because I’m [mom],’ works when they’re young. But as soon as your kid becomes of age, the only reason they’ll listen to your advice anymore hinges on the quality of relationship that you’ve built with him.” (Personally it never worked with me, but) the point is that rules have little to do with building relationship. They might come after the fact, but it would be a mistake to see it the other way around. Gosh, this is why I don’t care that they took the “Ten Commandments” off the walls - it’s a recommendation (albeit a strong one) of a response to relationship. But that is completely another track…
Um, where was I? Oh, that cliché phrase I talked about earlier? It’s ‘unconditional love’. For this phrase to be true in our relationship with God and vise versa, expectations can’t be placed, by either party, on either party.
If you’re a Christian reading this, I challenge you to attempt to remove your expectations from God.
If you’re a human reading this, I challenge you to attempt to remove your expectations concerning what life and others owe you.
Counting Crows - Anna Begins
October 2nd, 2007 at 2:40 am
“There was a man who was deciding if he was a determinalist or a freethinker. When he made up his mind, he went over to the determinalists and said, ‘I’m one of you.’ Their leader asked him, ‘How do you know you’re one of us?’ and he said ‘Because I decided I was.’ and they promptly threw him out. Then he went to the freethinkers and said ‘I’m one of you!’ Then their leader asked him, ‘How do you know?’ and he replied with ‘They sent me.’”
Sorry, someone told me that joke today.
Anyway, I never bought into the ontological argument, but had I; then being able to conceptualize evil means it exists too, no?
Free will is a funny thing. It’s a false sense of control when there’s always really one right answer.
That’s still one of my favorite pictures of all time-
October 4th, 2007 at 8:44 pm
>Anyway, I never bought into the ontological argument, but had I; then being able to conceptualize evil means it exists too, no?
Um, ontological argument meaning that being able to conceptualize God means that God exists? I don’t know about that. But you’re right - if it’s true about God then it would have to be true about anything, including evil.
>Free will is a funny thing. It’s a false sense of control when there’s always really one right answer.
What do you mean?
>That’s still one of my favorite pictures of all time-
I know ^^
October 5th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
>>Free will is a funny thing. It’s a false sense of control when there’s always really one right answer.
>What do you mean?
Because even with a multitude of choices, there’s always a “correct” choice. Which then makes having the ability to make the decision pointless.
And. I totally lost my Wordpress passwords.
October 8th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Hm…I’ll keep badgering you, c. What makes you say that “there’s always a ‘correct’ choice”?
I agree that if that were true (if there were only one correct choice for any given decision), it would make the ability to choose less meaningful, but I’m not so sure that there is one right answer.
Sometimes the journey is the destination.
October 16th, 2007 at 1:33 am
-”but I’m not so sure that there is one right answer.”
But there’s always a “best” answer. I liken it to voting, given two [or three] candidates, you vote for the better of the choices… or in most recently, the one least likely to plunge the country into hopeless war with no end in sight… but I digress.
This should be taken to the forums.
October 20th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
Until you take it to the forums…
“Always a correct choice” is a hard claim for me to substantiate. Mostly it has to do with never being able to know how things would have turned out if path B was taken instead of path A. So… being completely personal with you, “did I make the ‘right’ choice by marrying Lydia instead of Rachel?” has been a fruitless venture for me, because of the infinite outcomes. I probably wouldn’t be living in Portland if I had married Rachel, etc. etc. etc.
I’m open to change my view of things if something better comes along, though.
Oh, and if you do take this to the forums, I don’t mind if you copy/paste any/everything I said.
October 20th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
I should have said ‘better’ instead of ‘right’ when I gave my example. I should have more carefully read your response to dm.
November 13th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
I meant to leave this comment a month ago–can’t believe it’s been that long since I visited your blog :/ Anyhow, when I watched the iMarriage dvd by Andy Stanley that you recommended, my first reaction to his “box of expectations” argument was an epiphany-like realization about my relationship with God. Because what Stanley said rang very true, I suddenly realized that if God loves me freely and relentlessly as Scripture teaches, then I should dump the notion that He has certain expectations of how I should love Him back. Or even more burdensome, as you noted, an obligation to fulfill certain duties. So then, the possibility of me delighting God’s heart through some unexpected expression of love that I think might fulfill one of His longings/desires became an exciting and attractive thing. A much greater motivating force than doing what is expected of me. You are right, that this approach could benefit a spectrum of interpersonal relationships. Thanks for being a catalyst for this dialogue.
February 29th, 2008 at 10:11 am
If I could add my two cents to this (and yes Josh, I’m haunting your page today-I missed it) I remeber reading the first chapters of Mere Christianity. C.S. Lewis talks about that snese we have in theback of our mind when presented with a moral challenge. That somehwhere, we know what we should do, even if we do it’s opposite. That kind of sounds like obligation to me. The other issue I have it this: speaking as a (I faint to say scholar, so how about student?) student of scripture, if you recall, that there is a greek tense called the imperative mood. It is the command mood. It makes a frequent appearance in the New Testament. Beyond obligation, it is command. This isn’t to say we can in and of our own abilities do anything commanded of us. We can’t. That’s where grace comes in. It reminds me I can’t do anything He wants me to do. I need Him to do it. I can’t even love him on my own. Yes, that’s how dark the human heart is. And yet he loves me first (we love him because he loved us first says John) and then I have the ability to love him back. Granted, I will falter. And grace somehow catches me when I do. Just some thoughts.
March 6th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Thanks for your thoughts, Joy and Frank!
Frank: I’m elated that you’re entering into dialogue with me about this. I think I can see where you’re coming from. I could respond in a similar vein of thought - in theological or even logical argument. But I’m more interested in the tangible usefulness of the belief of God’s lack of expectation. The belief has freed me to act, and act in confidence and love.
How many times have I done a spiritual discipline only to feel a sense of accomplishment for completing the task? “Whew, I did it!” I believe this misses the point entirely - the point of simply connecting with God relationally.
Sure, it’s uncomfortable to change beliefs. But if I’m honest with myself, it’s clear to me how God’s priorities are not what I usually assume them to be. For an example, I’ve sinned and afterwards came before God in humility and honesty. I promise you that if I had not sinned, I would not have connected with God that day. I don’t care what people would tell me Paul said about sin and grace, I’m sure that God preferred me to sin and connect with him than resist sin and forget him.
Anyway, I’m rambling now. But mostly I want to communicate that the belief that God lacks expectation of me quantifiably improves my life/spirituality.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:31 am
Seven thoughts to ponder (that started out as 3):
1. If God expects nothing of us, then why does He chasten us? If He already knew we would disobey, why the painful follow up? You ever see those kids writhing on the floor at Walmart because they didn’t get their way? You know, the ones whose parents have no real expectations of them? By way of contrast, God is a good father.
2. Pardon the sarcasm, but “to whom much is given, of him much will be required” was not an oops moment for God when inspiring Luke’s writing of the gospel.
3. Unconditional love is spot on, but that’s not what’s really on the table here. Unconditional acceptance is what is really being dealt with when we start implying God has no expectations. It is subtle Universalism at it’s finest. If God indeed has no expectations, then there is no such thing as an expectation, and we need to find another concept to describe all that stuff He tells us we must and must not do.
4. “Without holiness no man shall see the Lord.” All men invariably invent one way or another to get to heaven without holiness. Holiness is God’s standard, his requirement, his expectation, and like most other commands that Christ sets forth, He tells us the consequence of not meeting it. Granted, you cannot do it yourself, but that fact doesn’t make the expectation go away.
5. Let’s just be honest, we can’t meet any of God’s expectations (requirements, standards, or whatever we want to call them) without His Spirit. I don’t want to sound accusatory, but in many ways it’s easier for the “do it yourselfer” in each of us to just deny the existence of such expectations.
6. “Why do you call me Lord and not do what I command?” If a command is given, unlike a suggestion, it is expected that the orders are carried out. Even the Roman Centurion (at whose faith Jesus marveled) understood that concept. What kind of authority sets forth commands and does not expect anyone to obey them? How great and praiseworthy is the Authority that has expectations but also empowers His subjects with the ability to fulfill them! The sacrifice of Christ and the Holy Spirit give us the ability to meet God’s expectations, should we choose to give up control.
7. We can surmise all day, but God’s real preference is in His word. If any man resists sin and forgets about God, then he’s not resisting sin at all. We’re going to sin no matter what, what matters is that we do as God requires and repent. Whether we think we’ve sinned or not, we’ve fallen short. The really cool thing about it is that once a man is truly saved, that is exactly what he desires to do when he falls short of God’s expectations, repent. Just because we desire it in our Spirit doesn’t mean He no longer requires it, it just means He’s written it on our hearts.
8. If God has no expectations, why are we called to repent and what is there to repent of? It follows suit that if there are no expectations, there is nothing to repent of. I think we would all agree that without repentance, there is no connection or relationship with God, and the point that is purported to be missed will have found it’s way completely off the map.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:36 am
I meant 8 points (but here’s another):
“But mostly I want to communicate that the belief that God lacks expectation of me quantifiably improves my life/spirituality.”
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but is that is really to be our goal as believers? What we believe about God is often so apparent in the things we seek after. We need to examine ourselves. Myself included.
July 29th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Well Josh, here we are again. What can I say? It’s not what Paul or John said or didn’t say. It’s what God was saying through them. More so, SIN is always commanded to be avoided. Connecting to God despite our failure is a blessing on his part, but the main means by which we commune for him. Kudos for you to not look at a spiritual discipline as the end, but it must be seen as the means by which we commune with God. As I said, it is grace that draws me near to God. And like a ll relationships, there all always obligations. In marriage, we have vows we must (Or hopefully try to keep) I doubt your special lady would say she likes it when you screw up. Knowing her, she’s very gracious about it though. Though I doubt you would intentionally screw up to see that side of her. On another note, a gentlemen has written a response on my blog. You can find it here under comments
http://letmypeopleread.blogspot.com/2008/02/does-god-have-no-expectations.html
August 11th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Brain and Frank, thanks for your comments. Forgive me for taking a while to reply. I haven’t had the chance to write a thoughtful response, nor will I have one in the near future. I fully intend to, though!
September 29th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Brian, I apologize that my reply has taken so long. I understand that my dragging has caused us all to forget what we were talking about in the first place, and forces us to plunge back in.
Before I go through your points, I’ll say that if I knew you were going to respond like you had, I might have constructed my essay differently. I remember throwing it together on the fly, and then aptly including in the title “…Poorly Constructed…”. The problem with my hasty writing is that I made an abstract and novel idea hard to wrap one’s head around (what’s more, one would hardly be able to wrap his head around the idea in the time he took to read the essay). Suffice to say, unless I re-write the essay and make magnitudes of clarifications, we won’t find ourselves on advantageous ground on which to debate. But, I’m sorry to say, I won’t be re-writing. I’ve past this step in my life (the realization of God’s lack of expectations) and it’s not my goal to curriculize the idea. It’s merely a post in a personal blog. I’m sorry my lack of commitment does you little good.
Now, to proceed through your points:
>If God expects nothing of us, then why does He chasten us?
When you chasten your child, which comes first in your goals: that your child repents from his actions or that your child meets your expectations? Would it not be possible to chasten him simply for his own good as a maturing human, in order that he follow a lifestyle that matches your ideals?
>You ever see those kids writhing on the floor at Walmart because they didn’t get their way? You know, the ones whose parents have no real expectations of them?
I don’t see this as lack of expectations, but lack of parenting ability. I concede that your conclusion is possible, though.
>Pardon the sarcasm, but “to whom much is given, of him much will be required” was not an oops moment for God when inspiring Luke’s writing of the gospel.
The reality of increasing scale in responsibility is a good argument to use against me in this. I don’t have an answer to it. The reason it isn’t refuting, however, is that it’s a single concept pitted against the currents of relationship and unconditional love found throughout scripture. It’s certainly not immaterial, and I won’t ignore it, but it’s not enough for me.
And I’m sorry but I won’t pardon the sarcasm. Sarcasm gets in the way of constructive conversation by way of intimidation and false confidence. It’s more effective and just as easy to say your point without resorting to sarcasm.
>Unconditional love is spot on, but that’s not what’s really on the table here.
One of the things I would make clear if I re-wrote the essay is this: I am asserting that expectations stand in the way of unconditional love. I’m setting unconditional love on the table.
>Unconditional acceptance is what is really being dealt with when we start implying God has no expectations.
No comment. But you’re right that clarifying terms is important. Again, this gets lost in me not taking the time to comprehensively construct my essay about expectations.
>“Without holiness no man shall see the Lord.” All men invariably invent one way or another to get to heaven without holiness. Holiness is God’s standard, his requirement, his expectation, and like most other commands that Christ sets forth, He tells us the consequence of not meeting it. Granted, you cannot do it yourself, but that fact doesn’t make the expectation go away.
What I think you are saying is, “Here’s an expectation that God has for us: to be holy.” I’m not sure, though, why you distinguished this command from others. Please explain.
>Let’s just be honest, we can’t meet any of God’s expectations (requirements, standards, or whatever we want to call them) without His Spirit. I don’t want to sound accusatory, but in many ways it’s easier for the “do it yourselfer” in each of us to just deny the existence of such expectations.
What I think you are saying is, “you believe God has no expectations because taking that belief is the easy route.” I don’t think ease of belief is the best indication of the belief’s credibility. I would argue the level of the belief’s ease if it were relevant.
>How great and praiseworthy is the Authority that has expectations but also empowers His subjects with the ability to fulfill them! The sacrifice of Christ and the Holy Spirit give us the ability to meet God’s expectations, should we choose to give up control… We’re going to sin no matter what, what matters is that we do as God requires and repent. Whether we think we’ve sinned or not, we’ve fallen short.
Your theology doesn’t seem to connect. I understand that the Bible has paradoxes, but show me how “God gives us the ability to meet his expectations, but we never do” helps me in real life.
>…and the point that is purported to be missed will have found it’s way completely off the map.
I don’t know what this means.
>>“But mostly I want to communicate that the belief that God lacks expectation of me quantifiably improves my life/spirituality.”
>Please don’t take this the wrong way, but is that is really to be our goal as believers?
I didn’t say it was my goal.
Kind regards,
Josh